Thinking hard..

Job's quite difficult to get.
more than i thought.
damn, even after all that effort.
it just wasnt enough.
But i wasnt gonna give up yet.
no, not now.

yesterday slept at the hosp
perhaps today i will too.
it does get tiring at times.
but im glad to chat with dad
see him so happy abt the home leave
he was counting down the hours happily.

though the Selengz is not there
such a dissapoinment
only my cool-big-guy-brother was.
and he was pestering me all the way
He said cheekily "ive got my eyes on you"
....
what the hell is that suppose to mean
haha, crazy man

im hungry
and im SICK of rice
or anything that reminds me of hospital food
will be dropping by at cosway to eat
before heading to the hosp again

Ciowz

Updates!

Im not working now
Im not studying now
But im bloody hell bz
Most of the time i have something to do
becoz ive to
but at times, of coz lahh
i wana lepak and enjoy life. Hehe

Anw,
my plans changes frm day to day
but whats permanent is that i go hosp daily
coz i love hanging out with papa
n at times mama (when her PMS is down)
like today... She was the mummy that i yearned for so much today
really happy sia
anw, now my sis n i kebulur
we've got no idea what to do
coz i instructed her not to touch the dapor
i just cleaned it!
so while waiting for an idea to appear...
Blogging time!!

Pictures to pur trip tp Ariff's hse!
Sleepovaa and Sarahs bdae celebration/ barbeque =D

Err.. Ain ask me to senyum tak nampak gigi. Difficult sia
the pic turned out like me being the bapok siam

....And soon she tried it too.
Ariff picked us up
he drove us to his house
anddd... wala!
His bed


His small sister
and i LOVE the bear!!!!!
I kissed sarah coz i really syg this cute sister of mine.
But when she kissed me...

Err....malu!!! hahaha
Ariff was then suppose to distract Sarah n bring her to asap
while we prepare the barbeque
well..she dont noe a thing ah

When she got back...surprise! =)
Sarah's birthday /barbeque with a dress theme. Haha








Afte we makan until we cannot eat anymore.. We then went for a walk in the Taman
to the playground






Night time.. Time to sleep.
Before we slept, we watched he movie PapaDom.
Great movie. Den we slept.

The next day we went shopping centre..cinema...hang out..
Den maghrib, we went home sweet home =)

Another significant event was Ain's departure.
Ain was gonna leave to the States.
She's gonna blah by 7 am.
Me, mas and Sarah wanted to surprise her
so we came to the airport at 630am
well, thats the earliest we cld arrive there.
anw, mission accomplised, and we managed to see her off.









Bye Ain.
Miss u.
K lah. Tired.. and hungry..Ughh..Bye

Party partay everdayyyy

Thursday, 19 November 2009

We celebrated BabyMok's birthday.

Happy Birthday Sarah
Ure really such a great fren n sister that i treasure
U were always there for me whenever im down
I know at times i treat u like shit!
Cant help it ahh.. hehe

Thank god, i met u
Coz u really made a difference in my life
in so many ways
I really hope to be there for u,
no matter what..

And yes,
i also don wan anything in return.
Its just really nice to watch u laugh, smile n cry
like Siow char boh.
Love u Sarah
Hope to be by ur side until we grow up,
become hot mamasitas,
n cool grannies like Aunt Kalasom

Papelahh do no wat to say animore
Coz ure that boring sarah.
Moving on...

Friday, 20/10/09

we sat for our last paper.
Dah habes, ape lagi...
Celebrate!!!!
First thing i did was to koyakkan entry proof.
Mwhehe

That day i go lepak with sarah, bobby n his frens
Den at nite go silat.
Fuhhhh...penat...until now my muscles's still aching!!
But when i go home,
i veri the happy la
Coz abah AT HOME!!
Yes, he's back.. For the weekend only though..
He's returning for another mth at the hosp on Mon.

Saturday, 21/09/09

Me, Mas, Ain go shopping at Orchard.
My 1st time taking MRT there to actually SHOP!
ya i noe..kental...hehe..tak minat ah shopping nie smue slame ni
But when i went, it was great lahhh
Cume ramai org =)



Preety ugly right there..
Then we go eat ayam penyek!!

Gua anak melayu, makan pakai tangan...
Ain, mentang2 nak g US..hmm....

O_o ... Muke mintak kene taplek seh ain..

Then i saw this cardigan shop.
.....
.... tak tau knape....
But I LOVE CARDIGANS!!!
Hahaha
Happy land sio =D

Lepak kejap with bubble tea in hand putside Lucky P.





Den i wanted go ain house to download n 'burn' cds for Bibik
Skali dah penat2 jln to ain hse
She just realised...she's got no key... =(
Takle masok sio...
Penat sgt terduduk pat lua
As shown by Mas:

In the end i had to go bobby hse at Lakeside
Met Sarah n Wani
Den went up his hse
They tricked me into sumting..
Taik seh perangai!!!
Ughh
Den i wen home along with Bobby
While Bobby teman me till CCK,
he said many things to me..
Thanks Bob!
Sampai uma kul 11..
Went home to complete sum stuff
slept at 2am =)

Sunday, 22/10/09

Bibik was gona go home
for 3 weeks
So we send her off to airport
me n 3 gurls naek mrt.
Pagi2 dah memekak...
But i slept in da train so hu cares..





After mkn, kene kacau, playing ard with Ilhan, bla3... Bibik went off.
I said bye2 to my fam then e four of us go enjoy at Popeye.
In da afternoon sarah gtg
so me ain n mas lepakking here
For now, im checking out my resume n some job application thingy
andddddd i look like this...

Haha, baru bangun tdo babe.
N im hungry sio.
Gotta go home soon
spend some time with mama abah
Peez out

Tanpa mu, ku TAK mati ah babe

Haha..Mepek nah title blog nie..
Its actualli lyrics to the lagu "tanpa" or "Tanpa mu"..or wateve lah
But well, its not true lor...
U can live on even without someone..
Its abt believin in urself
Knowing tat there's so much more worth things
to look forward to in life...
Mampos...pagi2 je dah start membebel...

Anw, i got to know abt some shit yesterday
Yea..Its like the real SHIT
The kind yg meleleh-leleh, pekat ala kichap nye case..
Ughhhh..yeah...its bad...


Its the 2nd tyme
i meet this kinda shit


It hurts lahh of coz
im not gona lie
It made me cry
made me think a lot
made me reflect a lot

But its ok lah
Coz i didnt regret giving my love
If one chooses to abuse it..
ape nak buat kan..
Like Cikgu Ali says, tu die nye pasal lahhh

I didnt just lose a lover
i lost a friend

BUt its okay
becoz tuhan itu maha adil n bijaksana

n aniwae, i lost him.
But i got someone else in return.
Ling =)
So its ok
Whatever's done, is done.
The 2 of us gona help each other out
tu je.

Anddddd...
Great things is ive still got.....

1) Ain aka Sharon Auww
2) Sarah Gempz

3) and..... Mas SALAMAT
Err..sorry, tu kaki die..Ni orang die.
Haha..i still think her feet's better though.
Anw, life must go on... n i wun stop learning, falling, getting up..
Smiling, laughing, crying, getting mad, becoming silly, bully people...
I still wana have fun




and ive still got..my fam to rely on, no matter what.. =)


All these people...Matter a lot to me...
Im sorry, if ive done anything to hurt any of u...
I really love u from the bottom of my heart.
now i can really divert my attention to them...

Most importantly, ive got.... Me.
and me.
haha.

To that person... Pls dun do this to other people.
Ure a kind person deep inside.
Its not too late to start doing what is right.
The path's abt to get tough for u
becoz of what u have done.

To Ling, thank u..for giving me the courage.
I'll respect wateve ure desicion is.
Saaaaayang u gurrl. Hahaha
I dun care, u mix ard with me, we'll polish up ur malay skills kay

Peez out =)

What the hell....is going on baby..

Yesterday
As i said the 'sort-of-goodbye'
Well...
waht do ya expect...
I was like this girl lor...
But no lahh
i wasnt bloody depressed.
like i want to kill a cat like dat (like sarah)
I was sad
Cried a bit...
Cldnt sleep well
Woke up really early with a headache
Haha..ape siot..ngah tdo pon otak aku maseh 'in operation'
MR. BRAINY, take a break kayy..Penat lah bnyk fikiran

Den today,
as i was bathing
i got the ilham
haha..ilham ke hape..
nah, i was just thinking abt the girl
Being a girl
Obviously id have at least some idea
of how bad things can be for her
But the thing is....
I really dun have much idea
of whats going on..
Everyone's hiding the truth..
so as to protect me??
Blurghh...ok2...i get it..but anw
i decided to find out

So i looked around for a bit
Then i decided
to meet her

Well, she agreed
We're meeting soon
Talk things out

But the thing is...
There are some things that she mentioned
that really made this big thing pop up in my mind:

And well, it has set me thinking...Like this ape:

hmmm....
What the hell sia...

So what am i feeling?



I donno.
Normal i guess.
coz i realised
the girl's feeling sad
he's feeling bad coz he has caused e misunderstanding
n well..lied a bit..hmmmph..

i feel their sadness
that at times it makes me so sad
so caught up in their dilema
....But i dun think thats good
fikir siket dah cukup ah...jgn lebih2..

So im alrite
Im a bit nervous
but other than that
im alrite
I know im gonna be okay la

What will happen, WILL happen.
So let it come
lets just face it =)

Happy Birthday Abah

Semoga Panjang umur abah..
Today, we're going to hospital to celebrate
Wait hor Daddy =)

InsyAllah
We'll celebrate ure birthday next yr..
The year after..N so on...
Its a battle, that we'll go thru togther
Uve given us strength all these years..
This time, let us help u up

InsyAllah, we'll go Cameron togther again kay? =)

A beautiful lie

Struggle..

Struggle..

Im struggling..

God, please help me.

Sarah. Ain. Mas.

Nadirah. Herda. Syak.

U guys held my hand, & walked me through this path

A path that will always be one of the highlights of my life.

Khai. Kak Melor. Kak Nana. Kak Su. Bibik.

Abg. Kak D.

I would'nt hav been able to make it

without ur guidance & motivation.

Abah, mama.

The strength that pushes me

keeping me going.

Mak Long. Mak Ngah. cik Wahid. Cik jajak. Cik ajis. pak busu.

All the help you gave to my family.

U shared the burden we felt.

There are many others who i didnt state their names.

But im equally grateful for being able to meet

such great and inspiring individuals

I love these people

I'd do anything for them

Im sorry

But please be by my side no matter what happens.

Coz for sure

I would always want to be by ures.

Im really panicking.

Coz 3 years

do matter a lot.

These 3 years.

Ive grown a lot.

I know bout the battles ive faced.

And im grateful

for everything

Every bitter parts

Every laughter n smile

Im gonna be alrite right?

Im gonna make it right..?

Dad's gonna be ok again rite?

He wun hate me if i dun make it rite..?

I'd do anything

to see him and my family togther

smiling

laughing

I dun want my A's to be the one

that pulls him down

Mum too.

Gsh. Pls stop these thoughts

Stop these fears.

Stop these tears.

Damn. its not just a game.