how well do u hide it

Its been some time.
I'm now working here:

You can find me at the entrance.
Smiling like an idiot.
Sometimes, it gets really tiring.
But i tell myself, its better than having a blank face
or worse,
frowning...
I dun wanna get wrinkles.
Yet.
And moreover,
senyum itu sedekah.
Heh.

Working's different.
Not really fun.
But its endurable.
Coz i like doing what im doing.
& at least i'm not wasting time.

For now, im like this:
Its been 4 days already.
And today's the worst
coz this time,
i can't communicate.
At all.
My voice didnt come out at all.
And tmr im working.
How the hell am i suppose to work as a guest relation officer
when i can even talk to them?
sigh.... i better get well by tmr.

And yesterday,
i was like this:

Coz some people
are already talking behind my back.
Feels shitty,
when u get that
from the people that u were starting to trust a little.

But well, im learning to ignore it.
And be patient.
Just like this bear:

Coz i still need the guidance babehh.
So, ckp lah ape kau nak.
Ultimately, u can't please everyone.

Im missing my girls.
Wishing i could hang out with them.
Just like the old days...
Heh. Nvr mind. we will soon.

I'm now learning to not be too caught up in such shits.
And to just smile my way through
Tak baik berdendam or what.
Allah will protect me.
Sooo..... i just gotta learn to smile...

And be contented with what i have (alhamdulilah) ...

And just be the same old happy nisa.

Its true
I find it hard to trust.
Its true
I keep denying myself of hope at times.

Give me time.
To break this wall aite.

Okay... im gonna prepare my tuition materials now..
And after this, go CP.
Nenek want to buy getah rambut (she say hers keep snapping).
And i wanna read Fruits Basket again.


Gtg. Panadol, cough syrup and phlegm pills
can really make one dizzy huh.
Take care people =)