We're too different aren't we

It was just another lazy afternoon.
Was smiling lazyly as always.
Coz only God knows, whats in my mind..

Recalling back the encounters
Over and over..
thinking abt what it signifies..
But there is always a blank at the end of each answer.
I look as contented as this dog:
I got up.
I walked.
One step.
Two step.

But then,
i felt like looking up.
And then i saw.

Of course,
i didnt look that shocked.
I was very surprised.
Very.
And also, pleased.
Happy.
Grateful.
Even if its just for a while.

However
You're a favourite here.
Everyone knows u.
Everyone wants u.
But what more important,
is that i'm just a face amongst that crowd.

Of course,
dissapointment sinks in.
Coz reality at times,
are nothing,
but bitter medicines
that u've got no choice but swallow.
Deep, deep into ur throat.
No bruise, no cut.
Nothing to show it.
But u feel it.
Running down.
And spread through ur body.
Pain.

I dun wana be a statue.
I dun wana pretend.
So my legs carried me.
Moved me further away.
So that maybe,
at least maybe,
i wun feel too dissapointed.
Shy.To reach out that hand.

All i could do,
was just watch.
As if i'm in a dream.

I've to move ahead.
I can't sit and wait.
But for now..
Just let me watch.
Let me see.
Let me understand.

So again.
The cycle repeats.
And you'll see me..
Smiling.. again...

All these words doesnt make sense?

Perfect.

Dono why.
But hopes keep coming.
And i keep wanting.

Can't believe that its a countdown.